Me, Myself and I

"The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself" - Diane Von Furstenberg

I read this quote a few days ago and it inspired me to spend some time working on myself. I think I spent the last few years dependent on other people (by other people I mean Body mostly) for my happiness. There had been times when my emotions yo-yo'd greatly because of him meaning one moment I was ecstatic because of something he said or did and then he would say something or cancel plans we had for a legitimate reason and I would be so grumpy.


Anyway there are a few things that always wanted to do and I think now is the right time to focus on them and do them on my own. There really isn't much that I have gone out and done on my own. I always have company.  The things I want to do may seem basic and they may not all help me better myself in the long run but in general it is something I just want to do. Which is a good enough excuse in itself.


1. I'm going to get my Bartending License. I've been wanting to do this for years now and right now there is a special - $100 off. I start in 2 weeks if they will accommodate the slight conflict with my school schedule.


2. I want to learn to drive stick. I am one of those people who got their licenses as soon as they turned 16 and from the beginning I always wanted to drive manual but people kept telling me just learn automatic it will make my life easier.


3. I want to get laser hair removal. I hate shaving and waxing with a passion. It takes up too much time. I think it would be a good investment for life.  - Has anyone done this? Was it worth it?


4. I want to get a tattoo to remember my grandmother who passed away in 2008. I have the tattoo drawn and ready but I was waiting for someone to come with me to get it.


5. I also want to get another piercing. Maybe 2.


That's all I could think of for now. Ill try to keep ya'll updated with what I actually do. Hopefully all of them before the year ends.

#thatsall

Updated My Username

Hey all just wanted to say I updated my user name. When I post it will now show up as January. Wanted to do this for a long time but I didn't know how :s. But it turned out to be very simple.


Signed: January -- Formerly 1other.pretty.face

#thatsall

Lists: I Will Never Date

Like most women I used to have a list of what I want in a man ideally. But I came to the realization that that list was  ABSOLUTELY pointless and it was like I was deliberately setting myself up for disappointment because no one person was ever going meet all the criteria I had set. So I made another list. A short 5 point list it is more like a deal breaker list, a list of things that I would not accept from a guy right now while I am young and have yet to reach my peak in terms of sex, education, looks and the works. So here it is my I Will Never Date List:

1. A father.

- I realize as I get older and if I am still single I may have to remove this from the list but right now I honestly think I am too young to deal with baby momma drama. I don't want to come second to anybody and at the same time I won't make him chose between me and taking care of his kid. Dead beat dads are the worst. Also if and when I have a kid I want it to be a first time experience for the both us. 

2. A Druggie or Alcoholic.

-If a guy does drugs or drinks alcohol that is his business. But to do it on everyday basis is a NO no for me. Ideally I would want him not to do drugs at all and ever and not to drink in excess. There is a lot more to life then sitting around chilling, drinking and doing drugs.

3. A fat man.

-There is nothing sexier than a guy who is in shape with washboard abs, chest and back muscles and the works. At the same time I would date someone who is not in great shape who has a great personality. However no amount of personality can make up for a double chin and beer belly (how shallow is this lol). But I can't help it it is how I feel.

4. A man with a hygiene problem.

-First off I've been told I am OCD when it comes to this. But I honestly don't think it is too much to ask to be hygienic. I am extra sensitive to scent be it good or bad and I feel shouldn't have to remind him to shower, to wear clean clothes, to brush his teeth etc. I date men not boys and I won't mother them. 

5. A man who is related to an Ex or dated one of my family members.


-Its all about respect even if we don't talk anymore. I would be pissed off if anyone of my family members dated my Ex and I would not do it either. It would make me think did they want him while I was with him?

In general that's it. If I am still single in my late 30s maybe I will drop point 1 and point 3 off the list. But the rest will stand forever. 


#thatsall

On to the next

I have decided to drop TrackStar as a possible friend with benefit. He is good looking and all but I can't knowingly mess with anyone's relationship even if at the moment it seems like he is just not that into her. He has been a little too reckless with his words about her lately (not that I ask he just seems to have verbal diarrhea ever since he admitted he had a girl and can't stop bringing her up). But at the same time he is probably crawling into her bed and telling her he loves her. I am so turned off but it is probably better this way.  


There are a few other fish in the sea (none worthy of a post or even a name yet) and even if there were not I feel wrong pursuing anything with him. Regardless I am not going to come second to any woman in a man's life (well except maybe his mother). So for the time being TrackStar and I will just be friends without any benefits if he can handle it. If not I am going to get a few more training sessions in and then it's adios.

#ontothenext

Hindsight is 20/20

TrackStar has a girl, that he is clearly not happy with, but nonetheless he has a girl. I wasn't too surprise when I found out -- lol -- who am I kidding I was surprised as fuck. The way he talks texts he makes it seem like he is so lonely. He says he is either always at work or at home watching a movie alone. He says that he is looking for someone special -- he could be out playing games but he has been there done that. Uh huh.

So basically we have been texting back and forth over the last month or so (remember I said he says he doesn't like talking on the phone *rolls eyes*) lately more than before like everyday sometimes twice a day. He continued to ask me out on a date and after telling him where I stood in the sense that I am not trying to jump into a relationship I accepted because he seemed to understand.

Side note: I met TrackStar in the summer on campus at the gym. He works there as a personal trainer. After a bit of flirting I gave him my number because he offered to train me for FREE (couldn't pass that up) but our schedules never really matched so it never happened. I was also really into Body (times were good) so even though we flirted it would have never been more than that at that time. I seen him on campus again in November/December and that is when we started talking again.

So he finally calls me (#surprisesurprise he knows how to use his cell for something other than text) to set up the details of this date. We talk for a bit. Honestly I was kind of distracted. I was in the middle of reading a paper or something when he called so I wasn't giving him my full attention and then he is like "I'm free Feb 11th but we could see each other before either on campus or at your place" (I hate when people try to invite themselves over to my place -- but that is another story for another time). I tried to cut the call short and was like "sure its a date I'll talk to you later" and he said something along the lines of "yeah if you want I'm just trying to be a good friend". -- BUT WAIT -- I snapped out of what I was doing and started to think of what we were talking about. The first thing that struck me was the date -- Feb 11th. At the time that was 2 1/2 weeks almost 3 weeks away -- why would anyone schedule a date that far in advance especially when its not something overly special? The second thing was his line "trying to be a good friend" wtf did that mean? I didn't know but I didn't question him.

So yesterday I went to the gym on campus to finally take him up on a free training session (he kicked my butt I can't even walk without a limp today). Afterwards he drove me home and we had a conversation the whole way back it was kind of refreshing having a normal convo with him. But at the same time something seemed off. I can't explain it. Anyway he texted me when he got home and then everything made sense:

TrackStar: "I like you. So I have to be honest. I am seeing someone else."
Me: "We aren't together you can see who you want.. Does she know about me?"
TrackStar: "You don't get it. I have a girl."

10 mins no reply

TrackStar: "I hope we can still have our date and chill some more."
Me: "I don't know about alla that. We will talk. Goodnight."

Suffice to say now everything makes sense. Hindsight is 20/20. Like why he doesn't like talking on the phone. And why he schedule the date weeks in advance. And why he repeatedly insist he is trying to be a good friend. I don't think I could be the other woman even though there is something about this guy. Or maybe it is just LUST.

#thatsall