Me, Myself and I

"The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself" - Diane Von Furstenberg

I read this quote a few days ago and it inspired me to spend some time working on myself. I think I spent the last few years dependent on other people (by other people I mean Body mostly) for my happiness. There had been times when my emotions yo-yo'd greatly because of him meaning one moment I was ecstatic because of something he said or did and then he would say something or cancel plans we had for a legitimate reason and I would be so grumpy.


Anyway there are a few things that always wanted to do and I think now is the right time to focus on them and do them on my own. There really isn't much that I have gone out and done on my own. I always have company.  The things I want to do may seem basic and they may not all help me better myself in the long run but in general it is something I just want to do. Which is a good enough excuse in itself.


1. I'm going to get my Bartending License. I've been wanting to do this for years now and right now there is a special - $100 off. I start in 2 weeks if they will accommodate the slight conflict with my school schedule.


2. I want to learn to drive stick. I am one of those people who got their licenses as soon as they turned 16 and from the beginning I always wanted to drive manual but people kept telling me just learn automatic it will make my life easier.


3. I want to get laser hair removal. I hate shaving and waxing with a passion. It takes up too much time. I think it would be a good investment for life.  - Has anyone done this? Was it worth it?


4. I want to get a tattoo to remember my grandmother who passed away in 2008. I have the tattoo drawn and ready but I was waiting for someone to come with me to get it.


5. I also want to get another piercing. Maybe 2.


That's all I could think of for now. Ill try to keep ya'll updated with what I actually do. Hopefully all of them before the year ends.

#thatsall

Another Body Post

I am kind of depressed. Actually not really just feel like something is missing or should I say someone - Body. I went to this Christmas dinner yesterday and practically everyone there was boo'd up. It wasn't awkward -- the couples weren't all making out and being overly affectionate or anything -- but it was obvious that it was meant to be a couple's affair. Of course I ignored it and tried to be as social as possible --which isn't my personality. I really don't like to be the center of attention. I rather play a supporting role. Growing up I was a very shy kid -- WHY? -- Probably because I hate looking stupid and being laughed at so I would never talk about anything I don't know. Which meant if the topic of conversation is not something I am not familiar with then you wouldn't even know I was there -- I wouldn't join and ask questions; I would just sit in silence and observe everyone else. I've gotten better with time but at heart I am still the shy kid. If Body was at the party he would have been the center of attention. He can talk for days to any type of person about any subject. Its one of the things that amazes me about him. I guess we are polar opposites in that respect. 

Speaking of Body for the last couple of days he has been up my a$$ constantly sending me texts. It felt kind of good because we talked about a whole bunch of stuff that we should have talked about over the last few months. At the same time I felt kind of annoyed because I still don't know whats going on -- or went on. I could assume I am right and that he was cheating but I rather not ASSUME. Besides I know Body probably better than he knows himself and I know he cannot hold a lie. Every single time I thought he was lying and finally excepted what he said as the truth he breaks down within the next week or two with some long drawn out confession as to why he lied. Thus far its only been about little stuff like him forgetting to purposely leaving out information on things he did,  where he was going or what not. Now its different. Now it seems like he was actually living a "double" life and I am not going to accept what he is saying as truth. Plus I know it is a lie because he tried to get me to go over to his place by saying (let me quote this dude) --- "If you wanna know the truth come here and i'll tell you the truth" SMFH. Maybe I am being dramatic but I have never been in this kind of situation before -- I don't know how to deal.

He wants to spend New Years Eve together. I told him I would think about it but I know I don't want to be ringing in the New Years with a fraud (harsh much -- hmm I don'y think so).  Anyway we will see but before I go I wanna wish everyone a Blessed and Merry Christmas.

#thatsall

Know Your Role: Main Ting, Side Ting, Only Ting

I hate it when females say that you should accept the behavior of a man because "at the end of the day he is coming home to me". I'm sorry because that is the most pathetic thing I have heard in my life. There is no way in hell I am knowingly letting my man go out and dog me with any chick just because he comes home every night and lays his flee infested ass back in my bed. Sorry I am a firm believer in monogamy once that decision is made. If you make the decision to be in a relationship then respect it. With that said at the same time there is nothing wrong with playing the field. If you wanna see multiple people do not commit to anyone but yourself and make it clear to the people you are dating.

This brings me the whole main ting/side ting notion and to be clear its not only females who do this shit. I just come to realize a few of my guy friends are in the same kind of situation. They stay bitchin (for lack of a better term) that they are tired of playing around and want to commit to one girl. Problem is for whatever reason the girl is not tryna settle down. So instead of moving on, -- because they are clearly not happy with the "relationship" --, they fall into the roll of main ting justifying it the same way females do.

Again at the end of the day what you do with your relationship is your business. My point with this is simply to say stop gassing up your relationship as if it is something to be jealous about because it is not. Furthermore just in case its not clear being a "main ting" is not an accomplishment.. When you become the ONLY ting then start bragging.

#tobecontinued