I have decided to drop TrackStar as a possible friend with benefit. He is good looking and all but I can't knowingly mess with anyone's relationship even if at the moment it seems like he is just not that into her. He has been a little too reckless with his words about her lately (not that I ask he just seems to have verbal diarrhea ever since he admitted he had a girl and can't stop bringing her up). But at the same time he is probably crawling into her bed and telling her he loves her. I am so turned off but it is probably better this way.
There are a few other fish in the sea (none worthy of a post or even a name yet) and even if there were not I feel wrong pursuing anything with him. Regardless I am not going to come second to any woman in a man's life (well except maybe his mother). So for the time being TrackStar and I will just be friends without any benefits if he can handle it. If not I am going to get a few more training sessions in and then it's adios.
#ontothenext
February 06, 2012
February 01, 2012
Hindsight is 20/20
TrackStar has a girl, that he is clearly not happy with, but nonetheless he has a girl. I wasn't too surprise when I found out -- lol -- who am I kidding I was surprised as fuck. The way he talks texts he makes it seem like he is so lonely. He says he is either always at work or at home watching a movie alone. He says that he is looking for someone special -- he could be out playing games but he has been there done that. Uh huh.
So basically we have been texting back and forth over the last month or so (remember I said he says he doesn't like talking on the phone *rolls eyes*) lately more than before like everyday sometimes twice a day. He continued to ask me out on a date and after telling him where I stood in the sense that I am not trying to jump into a relationship I accepted because he seemed to understand.
Side note: I met TrackStar in the summer on campus at the gym. He works there as a personal trainer. After a bit of flirting I gave him my number because he offered to train me for FREE (couldn't pass that up) but our schedules never really matched so it never happened. I was also really into Body (times were good) so even though we flirted it would have never been more than that at that time. I seen him on campus again in November/December and that is when we started talking again.
So he finally calls me (#surprisesurprise he knows how to use his cell for something other than text) to set up the details of this date. We talk for a bit. Honestly I was kind of distracted. I was in the middle of reading a paper or something when he called so I wasn't giving him my full attention and then he is like "I'm free Feb 11th but we could see each other before either on campus or at your place" (I hate when people try to invite themselves over to my place -- but that is another story for another time). I tried to cut the call short and was like "sure its a date I'll talk to you later" and he said something along the lines of "yeah if you want I'm just trying to be a good friend". -- BUT WAIT -- I snapped out of what I was doing and started to think of what we were talking about. The first thing that struck me was the date -- Feb 11th. At the time that was 2 1/2 weeks almost 3 weeks away -- why would anyone schedule a date that far in advance especially when its not something overly special? The second thing was his line "trying to be a good friend" wtf did that mean? I didn't know but I didn't question him.
So yesterday I went to the gym on campus to finally take him up on a free training session (he kicked my butt I can't even walk without a limp today). Afterwards he drove me home and we had a conversation the whole way back it was kind of refreshing having a normal convo with him. But at the same time something seemed off. I can't explain it. Anyway he texted me when he got home and then everything made sense:
TrackStar: "I like you. So I have to be honest. I am seeing someone else."
Me: "We aren't together you can see who you want.. Does she know about me?"
TrackStar: "You don't get it. I have a girl."
10 mins no reply
TrackStar: "I hope we can still have our date and chill some more."
Me: "I don't know about alla that. We will talk. Goodnight."
Suffice to say now everything makes sense. Hindsight is 20/20. Like why he doesn't like talking on the phone. And why he schedule the date weeks in advance. And why he repeatedly insist he is trying to be a good friend. I don't think I could be the other woman even though there is something about this guy. Or maybe it is just LUST.
#thatsall
So basically we have been texting back and forth over the last month or so (remember I said he says he doesn't like talking on the phone *rolls eyes*) lately more than before like everyday sometimes twice a day. He continued to ask me out on a date and after telling him where I stood in the sense that I am not trying to jump into a relationship I accepted because he seemed to understand.
Side note: I met TrackStar in the summer on campus at the gym. He works there as a personal trainer. After a bit of flirting I gave him my number because he offered to train me for FREE (couldn't pass that up) but our schedules never really matched so it never happened. I was also really into Body (times were good) so even though we flirted it would have never been more than that at that time. I seen him on campus again in November/December and that is when we started talking again.
So he finally calls me (#surprisesurprise he knows how to use his cell for something other than text) to set up the details of this date. We talk for a bit. Honestly I was kind of distracted. I was in the middle of reading a paper or something when he called so I wasn't giving him my full attention and then he is like "I'm free Feb 11th but we could see each other before either on campus or at your place" (I hate when people try to invite themselves over to my place -- but that is another story for another time). I tried to cut the call short and was like "sure its a date I'll talk to you later" and he said something along the lines of "yeah if you want I'm just trying to be a good friend". -- BUT WAIT -- I snapped out of what I was doing and started to think of what we were talking about. The first thing that struck me was the date -- Feb 11th. At the time that was 2 1/2 weeks almost 3 weeks away -- why would anyone schedule a date that far in advance especially when its not something overly special? The second thing was his line "trying to be a good friend" wtf did that mean? I didn't know but I didn't question him.
So yesterday I went to the gym on campus to finally take him up on a free training session (he kicked my butt I can't even walk without a limp today). Afterwards he drove me home and we had a conversation the whole way back it was kind of refreshing having a normal convo with him. But at the same time something seemed off. I can't explain it. Anyway he texted me when he got home and then everything made sense:
TrackStar: "I like you. So I have to be honest. I am seeing someone else."
Me: "We aren't together you can see who you want.. Does she know about me?"
TrackStar: "You don't get it. I have a girl."
10 mins no reply
TrackStar: "I hope we can still have our date and chill some more."
Me: "I don't know about alla that. We will talk. Goodnight."
Suffice to say now everything makes sense. Hindsight is 20/20. Like why he doesn't like talking on the phone. And why he schedule the date weeks in advance. And why he repeatedly insist he is trying to be a good friend. I don't think I could be the other woman even though there is something about this guy. Or maybe it is just LUST.
#thatsall
January 25, 2012
Finding the Blogger in me
I am not keeping up with this blog as much as I originally intended to. I am not a writer or anything but I thought I could do at least 15 - 20 post a month ideally one every other day. But I do think about post for this blog quite often I just don't have time to write them out. For example:
-"Shit (fill in the blank) say" craze going on the internet write now is getting almost as bad as #thatawkwardmomentwhen hash tag of 2011. First off half of them are not funny then I don't even know if it is true so what is the point.
-My Birthday just passed *YAY* I am now 23. I feel kind of old. I really didn't do anything special this year. I've made a big deal about it every year since I was 18 but after the disaster on my 21st birthday and last years flop I decided to keep it low key. Next time I do it big will be at my quarter century.
-The way people treat their pets and people. Last week I was stopped in the street by one of the SPCA people to give a donation. Of course I brush them off (I really don't care for animals -- not that I want them to be mistreated or anything but I rather give my money to Cancer research or Aids research or to sick kids in africa -- honestly anything but animals). People always question me about it and I guess my answer doesn't suffice them so we always get into the debate of why Michael Vick got almost 2 years in jail for dog fighting and basically punished more by the NFL once he was released and another NFL player (for the life of me I cannot remember his name right now -- #tootired) raped a women and got 4 months suspension and that was it --- not even jail time.
-Church people #enoughsaid. The way they act is something else. I respect everyone's beliefs and I did not grow up in the church but used to go EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY for a good 3 years. I stopped though the hypocrisy surrounding it and the people turned me off it.
-Of course I would want to write a few post on me, Body, and the new dude in my What to do post -- lets name him TrackStar.
-Also I want to maybe get more people to read my page (not that I want this blog to be something of extreme substance but I think it would be fun to get different views on some of my post --- side note: Shoutout to the only person who I think reads my post from time to time LakiSwirl) so I need to find some good blogs to follow and comment on. I also want to start adding pictures to my blog. And maybe start a feature like a weekly column just to give it more content -- but still something kind of superficial and light.
Anyway I'm sure I won't do all of these post but it is what is on my mind right now. First I need tofind make the time to start blogging more often.
#thatsall
-"Shit (fill in the blank) say" craze going on the internet write now is getting almost as bad as #thatawkwardmomentwhen hash tag of 2011. First off half of them are not funny then I don't even know if it is true so what is the point.
-My Birthday just passed *YAY* I am now 23. I feel kind of old. I really didn't do anything special this year. I've made a big deal about it every year since I was 18 but after the disaster on my 21st birthday and last years flop I decided to keep it low key. Next time I do it big will be at my quarter century.
-The way people treat their pets and people. Last week I was stopped in the street by one of the SPCA people to give a donation. Of course I brush them off (I really don't care for animals -- not that I want them to be mistreated or anything but I rather give my money to Cancer research or Aids research or to sick kids in africa -- honestly anything but animals). People always question me about it and I guess my answer doesn't suffice them so we always get into the debate of why Michael Vick got almost 2 years in jail for dog fighting and basically punished more by the NFL once he was released and another NFL player (for the life of me I cannot remember his name right now -- #tootired) raped a women and got 4 months suspension and that was it --- not even jail time.
-Church people #enoughsaid. The way they act is something else. I respect everyone's beliefs and I did not grow up in the church but used to go EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY for a good 3 years. I stopped though the hypocrisy surrounding it and the people turned me off it.
-Of course I would want to write a few post on me, Body, and the new dude in my What to do post -- lets name him TrackStar.
-Also I want to maybe get more people to read my page (not that I want this blog to be something of extreme substance but I think it would be fun to get different views on some of my post --- side note: Shoutout to the only person who I think reads my post from time to time LakiSwirl) so I need to find some good blogs to follow and comment on. I also want to start adding pictures to my blog. And maybe start a feature like a weekly column just to give it more content -- but still something kind of superficial and light.
Anyway I'm sure I won't do all of these post but it is what is on my mind right now. First I need to
#thatsall
January 24, 2012
Tagged
I know this is kind of late but I've been tagged by LakiSwirl of Rants of an Unknown Chick and because I am late I will be modifying the post. Normally the rules are as follows but I'll be answering the ones in bold :
- You must post 11 random facts about yourself.
- Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
- Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
- Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.
You must post 11 random facts about yourself:
- I love to cook breakfast.
- I am a Capricorn.
- My work experience has led me to firmly believe that the customer is always right wrong.
- I've been #teamblackberry since 2007 way before the hype.
- I'm 5 foot 5 inches tall (or short however you look at it).
- I'm addicted to Angry Birds right now.
- My favorite color is green.
- Overly religious people who try to push their beliefs on everyone annoy me to no end (I have to write a post on this).
- I hate long distance driving.
- I love Dance hall music.
- My dream car is the Range Rover.
Do you follow any superstitions?
-Lol some preschool superstitions like step on a crack and you break your momma's back. - To this day I avoid stepping on cracks even though that saying is a bit childish.
Are you single or attached? How do you feel about your current situation?
-My mind is single but my heart is attached. Its complicated. I'm okay with it right now I know I deserve better than what I have so I need to start looking for it. Slowly but surely. (Secretly hoping he will change but its been 5 years)
If you could have dinner with any famous person, living or dead, who would it be?
-I don't really rate celebrities so it would be someone like Rosa Parks. To find out what she thinks about the progress black people are making today.
What five words would OTHER PEOPLE describe you as?
-Bossy, Rude, Determined, Kind, Naïve :s
Cats or dogs?
-Neither. As a child I was deathly allergic to cats and I have been chased by 1 too many dogs in my lifetime to even want one of them.
Weave or natural?
-Both. I am lucky enough to have one of my sisters who went to hair dressing school so I get to change my hairstyle every 2-4 weeks depending on how I feel with out killing my pockets. Right now I have Patra inspired-Janet Jackson Poetic Justice inspired box braids. If I had to guess I'd say 60% weave, 30% natural, 10% other (box braids, wigs)
What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
-I don't really do anything scary.. In everything I do I take calculated risks so it doesn't really scare me.
-The scariest thing to ever happen to me though or that I was indirectly involved in was a School shooting. In September 2006 a lone gunman came into my cegep's (college) main quad and started shooting up the place and then was killed by police. One person died and my friend was hit with ricocheted bullets. Luckily I was fine physically but it took me a while to get over the shock.
Who are you closest to?
-My family in general but I would say my youngest sister. We could be twins if we weren't 2 years apart.
What's one of the most embarrassing things you've done?
-I pissed my pants the first time I went to La Ronde (an amusement park.. Like Six flags). *bbm can't look face* in my defense though I was drinking water all day and we waited in line to get on the Monster (a roller coaster) for two hours and then when we finally got on it we got stuck at the top right before it was about to drop for another 2 hours before they got us down and closed that ride for the day. I tried my hardest but I just couldn't hold it.
What advice were you given that you wish you would have listened to?
-When someone shows you who they really are believe them. Lol. Would have saved me at least 3 years (refer to question 2)
If money were no object, what would be the first thing you'd do?
-I would travel the world. Do the back packing in Europe thing, Safari in Africa, visit Dubai and some of the more affluent countries in the middle east.
#thatsall
- I love Dance hall music.
- My dream car is the Range Rover.
Do you follow any superstitions?
-Lol some preschool superstitions like step on a crack and you break your momma's back. - To this day I avoid stepping on cracks even though that saying is a bit childish.
Are you single or attached? How do you feel about your current situation?
-My mind is single but my heart is attached. Its complicated. I'm okay with it right now I know I deserve better than what I have so I need to start looking for it. Slowly but surely. (Secretly hoping he will change but its been 5 years)
If you could have dinner with any famous person, living or dead, who would it be?
-I don't really rate celebrities so it would be someone like Rosa Parks. To find out what she thinks about the progress black people are making today.
What five words would OTHER PEOPLE describe you as?
-Bossy, Rude, Determined, Kind, Naïve :s
Cats or dogs?
-Neither. As a child I was deathly allergic to cats and I have been chased by 1 too many dogs in my lifetime to even want one of them.
Weave or natural?
-Both. I am lucky enough to have one of my sisters who went to hair dressing school so I get to change my hairstyle every 2-4 weeks depending on how I feel with out killing my pockets. Right now I have Patra inspired-Janet Jackson Poetic Justice inspired box braids. If I had to guess I'd say 60% weave, 30% natural, 10% other (box braids, wigs)
What's the scariest thing you've ever done?
-I don't really do anything scary.. In everything I do I take calculated risks so it doesn't really scare me.
-The scariest thing to ever happen to me though or that I was indirectly involved in was a School shooting. In September 2006 a lone gunman came into my cegep's (college) main quad and started shooting up the place and then was killed by police. One person died and my friend was hit with ricocheted bullets. Luckily I was fine physically but it took me a while to get over the shock.
Who are you closest to?
-My family in general but I would say my youngest sister. We could be twins if we weren't 2 years apart.
What's one of the most embarrassing things you've done?
-I pissed my pants the first time I went to La Ronde (an amusement park.. Like Six flags). *bbm can't look face* in my defense though I was drinking water all day and we waited in line to get on the Monster (a roller coaster) for two hours and then when we finally got on it we got stuck at the top right before it was about to drop for another 2 hours before they got us down and closed that ride for the day. I tried my hardest but I just couldn't hold it.
What advice were you given that you wish you would have listened to?
-When someone shows you who they really are believe them. Lol. Would have saved me at least 3 years (refer to question 2)
If money were no object, what would be the first thing you'd do?
-I would travel the world. Do the back packing in Europe thing, Safari in Africa, visit Dubai and some of the more affluent countries in the middle east.
#thatsall
January 15, 2012
What to do...
Body is still in the picture. He is so charming when he isn't getting any. Lol. Lately its been good the phone conversations and random cute text messages. Makes me almost forget why we broke up. But then when I'm not talking to him I remember and I dwell on it. Not really dwell but I think about it and something in my gut tells me that there is something wrong. I start asking questions like: why did he take so long to tell me something so basic? Why did he think I was going to get mad about his explanation?
I think that is my ultimate fear to forgive and then get played even worst. I miss him. I want to let him wine and dine me especially with my birthday coming up I think I deserve to feel special for at least that day.
#DecisionsDecisions
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