Finding the Blogger in me

I am not keeping up with this blog as much as I originally intended to. I am not a writer or anything but I thought I could do at least 15 - 20 post a month ideally one every other day. But I do think about post for this blog quite often I just don't have time to write them out. For example:

-"Shit (fill in the blank) say" craze going on the internet write now is getting almost as bad as #thatawkwardmomentwhen hash tag of 2011. First off half of them are not funny then I don't even know if it is true so what is the point. 

-My Birthday just passed *YAY* I am now 23. I feel kind of old. I really didn't do anything special this year. I've made a big deal about it every year since I was 18 but after the disaster on my 21st birthday and last years flop I decided to keep it low key. Next time I do it big will be at my quarter century.

-The way people treat their pets and people. Last week I was stopped in the street by one of the SPCA people to give a donation. Of course I brush them off (I really don't care for animals -- not that I want them to be mistreated or anything but I rather give my money to Cancer research or Aids research or to sick kids in africa -- honestly anything but animals). People always question me about it and I guess my answer doesn't suffice them so we always get into the debate of why Michael Vick got almost 2 years in jail for dog fighting and basically punished more by the NFL once he was released and another NFL player (for the life of me I cannot remember his name right now -- #tootired) raped a women and got 4 months suspension and that was it --- not even jail time.

-Church people #enoughsaid. The way they act is something else. I respect everyone's beliefs and I did not grow up in the church but used to go EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY for a good 3 years. I stopped though the hypocrisy surrounding it and the people turned me off it.

-Of course I would want to write a few post on me, Body, and the new dude in my What to do post -- lets name him TrackStar.

-Also I want to maybe get more people to read my page (not that I want this blog to be something of extreme substance but I think it would be fun to get different views on some of my post --- side note: Shoutout to the only person who I think reads my post from time to time LakiSwirl) so I need to find some good blogs to follow and comment on. I also want to start adding pictures to my blog. And maybe start a feature like a weekly column just to give it more content -- but still something kind of superficial and light.


Anyway I'm sure I won't do all of these post but it is what is on my mind right now. First I need to find make the time to start blogging more often. 

#thatsall

Why I need to get out of Montreal

I was looking at my last post and realized I was being quite harsh when I said my city is waste. Don't get me wrong I love my city it is so vibrant in the summer, the nightlife can compete with any major city, there are so many types of restaurants and always something to do it is hard to get bored. But I sincerely hate the people in it and I say that as nicely as possible.

There are 2 things about the people here that I know that nobody who lives here can disagree with. The first thing is about the stuck up French people who only care about separating from Canada and that continuously fail in their efforts to make French is the ONLY official language. They look down on people who don't speak french but don't bother to learn english themselves. Let's be honest outside of Quebec probably only 10% of the rest of Canada's population speak the language (with the exception of New Brunswick). English is the universal language of the world; it should be mandatory to learn to speak it. At the same time I believe that if you decide to live here you should learn to speak French but this is a bilingual province meaning if I walk into a store and start asking questions in English you best respond to me in english.. Or at least attempt. I am not malicious if I see that you are struggling to speak English I will start talking to you in French and vice versa.

The next thing that irks me about Montreal is the Black community. I swear that 80% of us (excluding myself when I say us-- by us I mean black people) play into the stereotypes of what these white people expect from black people like that video and such as not having a general high school degree, being teenage parents, having no goals, being criminals, destroying public property, just having no behaviour etc. Furthermore there are not many educated black people left in this city most have migrated to Toronto or the United States. I am sure its because of how we are treated when we go into the job market. This province can be Racist as fuck when it comes to relevant things like getting a job or starting a business. Its like our degrees are not equivalent to our white peers -- anyway that is a whole other issue and post in itself. I am not trying to come off as stuck up or anything but it is a real epidemic in this city. The number of black people doing something productive with their life in this city is quite minimal and nobody seems to care as long as every weekend they can go to the club and pop a bottle of grey goose or some other over priced liquor that they worked greater than 15 hours that week just to purchase. They think they are doing big things because they are working more than one job. My question to these people on a regular basis is: If you can make the same kind of money at one job would you bother working at that second job? I've never gotten a clear answer they are just so proud they are killing themselves working 70+ hours a week, partying all weekend and then doing the same thing again the next week and probably because the answer is No.

Anyway I'm done. I'm sure I am going to end up in Toronto after I graduate if I stay in Canada. I would love to live and work in New York City. I am in love with that city.

#thatsall

The End of Body?... Probably

So Body is annoying me already. It has only been two weeks since we have broken up. Normally I wouldn't even say that we had broken up this soon seeing as this has been on and off for almost 5 years now but what has happened is the ultimate deal breaker for me. Seeing as I honestly believe he is outright lying to me too it makes it worst. 

Like I said in my last post about him over the years we both did some trifling things to each other. Original I decided to tell our whole story but I was thinking about that and it would take too many post. Anyway the beginning of the end of us started just before the summer of this year and again it happened at a club (honestly there is not much to do in this city but talk and party). It was one of my sister's birthdays and one of his boys birthday's so we didn't go to the party together not that we ever go to a club together anymore given there had been so much drama when we had (another story for another time). At this point we had been together for about 4 1/2 we had come to an understanding of how to act in parties. Basically he does NOT dance with anybody point final no discussion (nor do I). And before anyone starts assuming I'm insecure I want to say I'm not and this originally was his idea. In the past we used to do our own thing at parties when we did not go together. But it got to the point where it was beyond disrespectful. He used to really into Dance hall and grabbing chicks and daggering and all that junk and these fucking fast chicks would have nerve to be grabbing his dick and calling down his phone after the party as if they found love in the club. Just to say I'm no prude and I can differentiate between dancing and fucking and its one thing for a gal to push up on a dude in a club its another thing to the dude to let her man handle him and for him to reciprocate. Any who back to the point that night he reverted back to his old ways for no reason. He claims he was drunk but in the same breath he claims he doesn't drink. So I was just over it.. I can't even explain it. We have been so through much that this incident really shouldn't have been the end but I guess it was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. Anyway I flipped a gasket by going off on him and one of his groupies. All for her to say:

"Are you his girl.. Cause he doesn't even claim you.."

BUT WAIT.. I was stopped in my tracks.. I look at him and ask him 2 questions -- am I your girl? Do you claim me.?

Body replies: get out of my face-- you're acting like a fool.

Ah okay okay I see how it is I was thinking to myself. I left the club saw the groupie and apologized basically because everyone was already talking and truth be told I should have never said anything to her. In the whole time we were together I never even talk to any of his groupies because I have too much class for that ish. I was not in a relationship with any of those girls so normally they were irrelevant. But this one in particular irks my nerve to the fullest and there is a background story as to why. So remember Free who's best friend that had a fling with Body, yeah so that's the groupie I am talking about let's call her, Frenemy --- because I really don't have a name for her and that's all that comes to mind at this moment, and she is good friends with quite a few people in my family ironically.

Body claims that Frenemy is his best friend that is a girl. Okay. He says when he needs advice about us he goes to her. Okay. He claims nothing went on between them they are just friends. Okay.... So how is it that I find out through an argument we had that he actually tried to get with her before me and him even started dating and that he told her he loves her.

BUT WAIT..

I thought nothing ever happened. I thought they were just friends. Now to find out he loves the chick or loved the chick. WHATEVER.. Because of that she was always suspect to me. He was just as suspect to me too when it came to her. Anyway she moved away that is the only reason we survived but she comes back often and on a few occasions there were lies by omission involving her and him which made it even more suspect.

Anyway what was the point of all this again. *Scrolls up* So I apologized to her and didn't talk to Body for a good 2 - 3 months. It was hard to come to the realization that he didn't claim me. He didn't claim me. He didn't claim me. I spent weeks fixated on that which made me resent him. Not to brag or anything but I hold my own in the looks department (yes I said it - Suck my cockiness lick my persuasion) and my body is one to be envied thanks to the fact that I was highly involved in extracurriculars (track, basketball, soccer) through high school and college. Not to mention get many offers from very fuckable eligible bachelors wanting to get with me on a regular basis. Furthermore I already have a a college degree and I was soon to be done a university degree.. My future is set. Also I have a good paying job, I've got my own and don't rely on him to pay for everything anything we were pretty balanced in that respect. Suffice to say I know I am a fucking catch and finding out that he wasn't did a number on my ego for a few weeks (and it's true he admitted it by saying he didn't want people in his business -___- ) and I really wanted nothing to do with him or with any guy for that matter.

Anyways I unintentionally went celibate for those months.. The longest I've been that dry since becoming sexually active (lol tmi I know). After a while we got to talking and somehow got back together again but I was not the same. Different vibe, much less communication, the sex was unbelievably amazing though so we ignored the rest.


All this to say the day that it all went downhill was two weeks ago. I slept over at his house. He works early in the morning so when I stay over he lets me sleep in and I would just leave when I feel like it. Anyway as I was collecting my stuff I accidentally knocked over my pill bottle off his dresser (and I hoped I can describe this vividly enough so ya'll understand). He has a 6 drawer dresser in his room and he never closes the drawers properly. It usually annoys me to no end because it really is not that hard to close you dresser drawers and be neat in general. So I was picking up the pills off the floor and I thought some may have fallen through a crack in a drawer -- honestly I learned my lesson a long time about snooping though his shit and would never do it again (another story for another time) I just needed to get the pills it wasn't prescription I could just go and refill  --. So I opened the drawer to be sure there weren't anymore and I saw some chicks panty, washcloth and tank top, and tooth brush. Basically this nigga had the nerve to give a trick a drawer. Fact is when I confronted him he says it belongs to his cousin. -___________-

I could get into the confrontation but basically he contradicted himself and backed himself into a corner. So I don't know what happened or who it belongs to but I am fairly certain what he told me about it belonging to his cousin is a lie. And the way I feel now I am pretty sure we are done. But yesterday and today he is annoying me to no end. Every time something happens and he knows it is his fault he has this tendency to be all up under my A$$. Asking me to chill, trying to take me out and trying to buy me shit. Like fall back n***a and leave me alone and let me get over it or take a hint and move on. This time he should be doing the latter because until I get the real story from him about what I saw in his drawer I will forever be annoyed with him and we will be stuck in this limbo. And yesterday he actually had the nerve to tell me I am wasting his time... lol I think he is in denial.


#thatsall